dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
