If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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