i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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