Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
