I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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