kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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