But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
nutella sex= disaster
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
