This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
