then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
