I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Michael Bay diarrhea
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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