We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ketchup is God's man juice
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
