im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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