I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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