Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
