oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
