He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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