Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize