DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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