He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
