Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
