ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
