i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
