i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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