i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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