Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
