Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
