Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
