I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
