I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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