OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
