i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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