it's not cheating when I paid for it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
