Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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