Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
