____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
