Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
