Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
