Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
