in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
