i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
