it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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