in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
