Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
