We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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