Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
