theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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