I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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