I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
