So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
