the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
