oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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