I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
